Challenges in Marriage: How do I deal with this!
Discuss the many challenges that occur in marriage and how to get through them.
““And who overcome by faith, and are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true” (vv. 50–53). The Holy Spirit of Promise is the ratifying power of the Holy Ghost. When sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, an ordinance, vow, or covenant is binding on earth and in heaven. (See D&C 132:7.) Receiving this “stamp of approval” from the Holy Ghost is the result of faithfulness, integrity, and steadfastness in honoring gospel covenants “in [the] process of time” (Moses 7:21). However, this sealing can be forfeited through unrighteousness and transgression. Purifying and sealing by the Holy Spirit of Promise constitute the culminating steps in the process of being born again.””
““Eternal marriage is a principle which was established before the foundation of the world and was instituted on this earth before death came into it. Adam and Eve were given to each other by God in the Garden of Eden before the Fall.””
“Husbands and wives can work through challenges if they view their marriage as a covenant. Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.”
“The “Wolf” of Natural Adversity Every marriage is tested repeatedly by three kinds of wolves. The first wolf is natural adversity. After asking God for years to give them a first child, David and Fran had a baby with a serious heart defect. Following a three-week struggle, they buried their newborn son. Like Adam and Eve before them, they mourned together, brokenhearted, in faith before the Lord.
The “Wolf” of Personal Imperfections Second, the wolf of their own imperfections will test them. One woman told me through her tears how her husband’s constant criticism finally destroyed not only their marriage but her entire sense of self-worth. He first complained about her cooking and housecleaning, and then about how she used her time, how she talked, looked, and reasoned. Eventually she felt utterly inept and dysfunctional. My heart ached for her, and for him. Contrast her with a young woman who had little self-confidence when she first married. Then her husband found so much to praise in her that she gradually began to believe she was a good person and that her opinions mattered. His belief in her rekindled her innate self-worth.
The “Wolf” of Excessive Individualism The third wolf is the excessive individualism that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes. ”
“Every divorce is the result of selfishness on the part of one or the other or both parties to a marriage contract. Someone is thinking of self comforts, conveniences, freedoms, luxuries, or ease. Sometimes the ceaseless pin pricking of an unhappy, discontented, and selfish spouse can finally add up to serious physical violence. Sometimes people are goaded to the point where they erringly feel justified in doing the things that are so wrong. Nothing of course justifies sin.”
“Each day, figure out how you can make your spouse feel happy that they’re alive and married to you”
D&C 131:1-3, and 132: 18-19 “A temple officiator who has the sealing power of the priesthood invokes covenants to be effective for time and for all eternity. Celestial marriage involves a ceremony performed in a holy temple”.
Covenant:
“to be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (Gen. 1:28) A primary purpose of temple marriage in this life is to grow mature in sharing God’s creative work in raising a family in righteousness. Parents enter into partnership with God by participating in the procreation of mortal bodies which house the spirit children of God”
D&C 88:4; Moses 6:59 “Husbands and wives will receive eternal life in the world to come, the glory of the celestial kingdom”
D&C 132:19 “They shall become Gods with all power and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers”
D&C 131:1-4 “They shall obtain exaltation in the highest degree of the celestial glory”
D&C 132:48-50 “They will come to know God the Father and Jesus Christ”
Hireling:
A hireling is a person employed to undertake menial work (such as to watch a flock)
John 10:12-13 But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and a leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. The a hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep.
“Many people today think of marriage as an informal arrangement between two hirelings. When a hireling feels threatened by some wolf of trouble, he or she simply flees. Why should a mere hireling risk comfort or convenience, let alone life?
But when we offer in our marriage a broken heart and a contrite spirit in similitude of the Good Shepherd, we promise to give our lives for the sheep of our covenant, a day or even an hour at a time. This process invites us to take selflessly upon ourselves both the afflictions and the joys of our companion and children, emulating in our own limited way how the Savior takes upon Himself our afflictions. “Be you afflicted in all his afflictions” (D&C 30:6), said the Lord to Peter Whitmer about his missionary companion Oliver Cowdery. Isaiah echoed that phrase in describing Christ and those He redeems: “In all their affliction he was afflicted, … and he … carried them all the days of old” (Isaiah 63:9; see also D&C 133:53). A temple worker whose wife passed away after she had suffered a debilitating illness for several years told me, “I thought I knew what love was—we’d had over 50 blessed years together. But only in trying to care for her in these last few years did I discover what love really is.” By sharing in his wife’s afflictions, this man discovered deep wellsprings of compassion in his heart that a hireling will never know. The accumulation of such discoveries produces the sanctifying process of becoming like the Good Shepherd—by living and giving as He does. Not incidentally, that kind of living breathes irreplaceable strength into the social interests of our culture”
“Spiritual growth comes by solving problems together, not by running from them”
““If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet.””
““husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other.””
““Harmony in marriage comes only when one esteems the welfare of his or her spouse among the highest of priorities. When that really happens, a celestial marriage becomes a reality, bringing great joy in this life and in the life to come.””
“““Until next week May the light of the savior shine in your relationships and bring you joy each and every day.””