The four Horseman
Discussing John Gottman’s four horsemen of the Apocalypse in Marriage.
Scriptures
D&C 45:27 And the love of men shall wax cold, and iniquity shall abound.
Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
The Four Horsemen
Criticism:
The expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes
Criticism involves active disagreement
The latin word Criticus means “a judge, literary critic”
It attacks there character, which is detrimental
Examples: your lazy
Contempt:
the feeling that a person is beneath you or consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn
This is the worst of the four horsemen and most destructive behavior in relationships
When someone treats-you-with-contempt: they consider that person unworthy of respect or attention.
Example: mocking, mimicking, rolling eyes, name calling, sneering, raising upper lip, exaggerations and insults.
Defensiveness:
Self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack.
Stonewalling:
a persistent refusal to communicate or to express emotions. Refusal to cooperate
““Any relationship where distance is safer than closeness is not a relationship.””
Question
Is there distance in my relationship? Is it because that is safer? Is it because of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Is it me that is doing one of the four horsemen or is it my spouse?
How can I change this or how can they change this so we can be happier and healthier?
““May the light of the Savior always shine in you to create and bring greater relationships each and everyday.”
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