How do I communicate with this kid?
How to communicate with your children.
Are you talking to your child or talking at your child?
Matt. 15:18 “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart”
What is in your heart toward you children?
What are you thinking when you talk to your children?
Is it of the purest intent?
“ “our expressions, our voice tones, our movements, our thoughts betray us”….“Our actions and words communicate who we are, how we feel about things, and what we have become. Even the refusal to talk sends a message to others, though the message may or may not be accurately understood” ”
Some of the common communication practices that drive children away:
Lecturing
Interrogating
Discounting
Placating
Judging
Blaming
Criticizing
Ridiculing
Ways to improve your communication with your children
Return good for evil
Look for the good in your children
Listen to your children
Validate them
Always take a breath before you speak to them. Breathe
Christlike communication
He is slow to condemn
He is Forgiving
He is considerate of the/to his family
He is willing to return good for evil
Loves the little children
He is appreciative
He is willing to sacrifice
Isaiah 1:18 "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool"
Mark 6:34 And Jesus, when he came out, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.—
John 19:26-27 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
Colossians 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. He is eager to serve.
Listen to your children
Show interest and a willingness to listen
Ask questions that invite the child to talk (not interrogate)
Identify and name the child’s feelings
Listen actively by paraphrasing what he child says
Respond non defensively when the child is upset
Share feelings appropriately when you are upset
Clarify what is expected of your child
““Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self””
Resolve problems that impair the ability to listen
Don’t feel responsible to solve all your child’s problems
Don’t feel responsible to rear successful children rather than focusing on being a successful parent
Don’t control your child
Don’t be overly detached and permissive
Don’t fear failure and public humiliation
Don’t believe you are always right
Don’t let your need to feel loved by your children and fearing rejection from them control your behavior toward them
1 Timothy 4:12 “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity” “Let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ”
Words and behavior have the power to hurt or to help to inflict pain and suffering or to soothe painful feelings to provoke doubt and fear or to instill faith and courage.
““Our communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore, we must be careful not only what we communicate, but also how we do so. Souls can be strengthened or shatter by the message and the manner in which we communicate..Christlike communications are expressed in tones of love rather than loudness. They are intended to be helpful rather than hurtful. They tend to bind us together rather than to drive us apart…. The real challenge… is to condition our hearts to have Christlike feelings for all of Heavenly Fathers children When we develop this concern for the condition of others, we will then communicate with them as the Savior would. We will then warm the hearts of those who may be suffering in silence… We can then make their journey brighter by the things that we say”. ”
““Until next week May the light of the savior shine in your relationships and bring you joy each and every day.””