Emotional intimacy vs Physical intimacy
Discussion on emotional intimacy and how it enhances your relationship and creates a better bond between husband and wife. Great physical intimacy comes from great emotional intimacy. I do talk about physical intimacy and why it is important and how to be satisfied.
“Deep intimacy requires a high level of transparency and openness. This involves a degree of vulnerability that can feel uncomfortable or anxiety-producing to many of us. These feelings do, however, tend to diminish and even dissolve over time and with practice.
Couples who engage in this level of connectivity enjoy a sense of being at peace within themselves and with each other. They are willing to share their worst failures and mistakes, their most embarrassing moments, their feelings of inadequacy, their dark shadow side as well as their loftiest dreams, visions and hopes for their lives. They are also likely to more freely express gratitude and appreciation towards each other. All this adds up to a formula for enhanced emotional well-being, and physical health as well. There are, of course, bumps along the road, even in the best of relationships. That’s part of the package. Seeing the bumps as inevitable makes it a lot easier for us to not take things too personally, which makes it easier to communicate non-defensively with each other. And that makes all the difference in the world!”
Some questions you can answer to know if you are emotionally intimate
Do you feel extremely secure emotionally and physically?
Do you share your deepest concerns and pain with your spouse?
Are you excepting of your spouse? All of them?
Do you know all their good bad and the ugly?
Do you know what makes you spouse feel loved?
Do you have pillow talk? Small talk? Share your deepest feelings?
Do you feel they have your back?
Are you there for them and are they there for you?
Do you have NO secrets
Do you spend time together?
Do you have non sexual touch: hugging, kissing and hold each other ever?
“My suggestions use three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate
To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.
Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.
My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” I invite each marital partner to consider these suggestions and then determine specific goals to nurture your own relationship. Begin with sincere desire. Identify those actions needed to bless your spiritual unity and purpose. Above all, do not be selfish! Generate a spirit of selflessness and generosity. Celebrate and commemorate each day together as a treasured gift from heaven.”
Physical intimacy
emotional intimacy
Sexual abuse in the past
Pornography (masturbation) and/or infidelity
Lack of knowledge
“ …only 29% of women reported (in a study at the university of Chicago with 3342 participants) always having orgasms during sex, compared to 75 % of men, the percentage of women and men who find their sex life “extremely” physically and emotionally satisfying is about the same 40%.”
““sex was created and established by our Heavenly Father for sacred, holy and High purposes. ”
“Sexual intimacy in not only a symbolic union between a man and a woman—-the uniting of their very souls—-but it is also symbolic of a union between mortals and Deity. Between otherwise ordinary and fallible humans uniting for a rare and special moment with God himself and all the powers by which he gives life in this wide universe is ours.
In this latter sense, human intimacy is a sacrament, a very special kind of symbol. Sexual union is also, in its own profound way, a very real sacrament of the highest order, a union not only of a man and a woman but very much the union of that man and woman with God. Indeed, if our definition of sacrament is that act of claiming and sharing and exercising God’s own inestimable power, than I know of virtually no other divine privilege so routinely given to us all—women or men, ordained or ordained, Latter-day Saint than the miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation.”
““As you know, the subject set out in your letter is of a highly personal nature and one for which the First Presidency has not provided detailed response. The Brethren have counseled those who conduct worthiness interviews to avoid explicit questioning beyond the scope of what is contained in the temple recommend book. Persons who have been through the temple are aware of the responsibility to keep their thoughts and actions pure and, furthermore, have been counseled to avoid any unholy, unnatural, or impure practice. If a person is engaged in a practice which troubles him or her enough to ask about it, he or she should discontinue it. With this in mind you can, through your personal supplication to our Father in Heaven, receive the guidance you may feel you need.” The letter is signed “Michael Watson”.
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““Until next week May the light of the savior shine in your relationships and bring you joy each and every day.””