Divorce and How to Survive it.
I discuss divorce and how to get through the pain of divorce. How to help your children and family move forward and make a successful new life.
Children: They are your number one priority.
Be consistent
Let go of the anger
Never ever talk poorly about your ex in front of your children
Children need there fathers and there mothers: do not deny your children thier parent unless there is abuse
Don’t have your children assume the surrogate spouse role
Children can blame themselves for the divorce
Grieving Processes
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, finding meaning
David Kessler has recently documented a sixth stage, which is finding meaning. It's learning to remember those who have died with more love than pain and learning to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones.
Journal your feelings
The Best Revenge: being the nicest, kindness ex there ever was.
The angrier you are at your ex the more they feel justified in their reason for the divorce. If you are thinking about them and how they hurt you: guess who is still controlling your life?
Extended Family
How does this affect your siblings?
How does this affect your parents?
How does this affect your former in laws?
Dating
Parents don’t become like teenagers
Don't date in front of your children
Don’t repeat same patterns with new partner
You are not ready for at least a year
Beware of serial daters
After divorce
You are now part of a business transaction forever (if you have children)
A clean break is much harder than it sounds. You have to deal with tax documents, car registrations, changing your name, and putting your new name on everything (you may choose not to, but there might be times that affects your credit)
It can be a big relief
You can feel sorry for your spouse
Look at why you and your first spouse divorced and make changes in yourself that can move you forward in life and closer to your Heavenly Father.
Loose some friends and gain some new friends
More time to yourself but it can be lonely
Miss your children
Two sets of everything for your children
Financial strain
Co-parenting forever
Your health
Remember you can survive this.
Keep close to your Father in Heaven
Use the Lords atonement to work through your pain and anger
Think of the positive things you can do to make yourself a better person
Love your children
When you are alone and your children are with your ex: take time to work on yourself and your goals and nurture yourself.
““Until next week May the light of the savior shine in your relationships and bring you joy each and every day.””