Seeking independence and sense of identity: Developmental stages Episode 17
Discuss stages and issues with teens. Discussed parenting ideas for teens 12-18.
Age 12-13
Puberty
Sexual Feelings surface
Equality and independence vs security and comfort of home
They wonder where do I fit in society?
Try to find a sense of identity
Feel they are on stage
Eating disorders can occur: Anorexia, bulimia and bingeing.
Fun, Friends and Freedom
Age 14
insecure about themselves, their bodies and their acceptability
tend to be idealistic, impulsive, intense and wanting everything now.
self-centered, moody, and argumentative, having more conflict with parents
look to peer for social acceptable behavior.
They say they want their agency
Age 16
most are more relaxed and comfortable around family members now
more secure in their identity
sorting through values and beliefs, seeking a clearer sense of self.
Sensitive to social norms and peer groups
Can still question authority and test rules
Some of the difficulties teens may encounter:
Bullying
Mental health issues: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts or action
Self-esteem and Body image issues: may turn into Eating disorders
Stress: thinking about what they want there life to be, college, grades, etc
Cyber addiction
Defiant behaviors Smoking, Drug, or alcohol abuse
Underage sex, teen pregnancy
Peer-pressure and competition
Bullying
Some of the effects of Bullying might be: depression, low self-esteem, shyness, poor academic or job performance, isolation or threatened or attempted suicide
Risk factors for suicide in teens
Depressed mood
Substance abuse
Frequent episodes of running away or being incarcerated
Family loss or instability; significant problems with parents
Expressions of suicidal thoughts, or talk of death or the afterlife during moments of sadness or boredom
Withdrawal from friends and family
Difficulties in dealing with sexual orientation
No longer interested in or enjoying activities that once were pleasurable
Unplanned pregnancy
Impulsive, aggressive behavior or frequent expressions of rage
signs of depression:
Little interest or pleasure in doing the things
Feeling down or hopeless
Trouble falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much
Having little energy
Poor appetite or overeating
Feeling bad about themselves-failure
Trouble concentrating
Suicidal ideation: thoughts of suicide
Signs of anxiety:
Feeling nervous, anxious or on edge most of the time with no apparent cause
Not being able to stop worrying
Trouble relaxing
Stressing over school, friends etc
Hard to sit still
Feeling afraid and that something terrible might happen
ADD or ADHD
Distractibility and lack of focus
Disorganization and forgetfulness
Self focused behavior
Hyperactivity and fidgeting
Heightened emotionality
Impulsivity and poor decision making
Poor concentration and trouble finishing tasks
But Parents you need to know
This is a time for children to become self reliant
Control should be relinquished gradually, allowing teens progressively to take care of their lives
Encourage them to think for themselves: what do you think? How does that make you feel
Accept there traits before you become defensive or rejecting
Remain calm and consistent when confronted with the emotional intensity of your teenager
Listen to them
Validate their feelings
Choose your battles wisely: is this the mountain you want to die on
Mosiah 4:14-15 “ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry or naked neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another..”But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness (meaning calm, temperance, freedom from heat and passion), ye will teach them to love one another and serve one another”
““Until next week May the light of the savior shine in your relationships and bring you joy each and every day.””